


Part of Your World

by chonkadonk



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:22:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24547579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chonkadonk/pseuds/chonkadonk
Summary: gordon and benrey share an uncomfortable moment of blunt honesty
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 14
Kudos: 235





	Part of Your World

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a one-shot based off a conversation with a friend i roleplay frenrey with :)

A quiet moment was shared lounging in the living room; Gordon laid sprawled across Benrey’s lap as they both sat relaxing on the couch, a day spent doing precious nothings together. Idle fingers played with dark, thick curls, and Gordon felt as though, at any moment, he could just fall asleep right then and there...

When the other’s fingers stopped, a dark eye peered open, staring up at the shadowy, pale face, a face that looked troubled.

“man... sucks.”

“What does?”

“i’m never gonna... get to be a part of  _ your _ world, huh.” The words felt like an icy spike through his heart. He sat up, hair falling in curtains down around his shoulders.

“Benrey... what?” Tucking hair behind his ear, Gordon’s hand found itself resting lightly on the guard’s cheek.  _ (His chest felt so tight, so squeezed, like he knew exactly what was coming and he was so so afraid.) _

“you know... i’m not real ‘n’ shit, gordon. i know you know that i know, bro.” Ah, yes. Exactly what he had been afraid of. In an instant, Gordon becomes hyper aware of himself  _ outside _ of the game,  _ outside _ of it all. He felt the sweat pooling beneath his VR headset, felt the plastic of his motion controllers warmed by his touch (well, on his left hand at least) and — yes, there it was — the heat behind his eyes as he rapidly blinked back tears.

“no, bro, don’t cry — don’t be a little pissbaby cry boy, freeman, noo...” While the words themselves would normally get a rise out of Gordon,  _ especially _ when spoken by Benrey, they instead actually made him laugh a bit; it was choked laughter, struggling to not let loose as a sob, but it was there.

“S-Sorry, I just...” Deep breath in. Deep breath out. “It’s... hard. To acknowledge that that’s the truth. That we’re... We’re constricted to this.” Not that there was anything wrong with  _ this _ — just... well, there couldn’t be anything more. Benrey stayed silent, that troubled look still on his otherwise stony face.

“yeah. it’s super sucks, isn’t it?” A hand rests on top of Gordon’s, and while he doesn’t show it, he feels his own heart sting, as though it was being ripped slowly in half. He thought about this so, so much more than he would ever let on. It hurt. It hurt, being so overtly aware that Gordon was flesh and blood and he was just... a batch of code, polygons slapped haphazardly together within the restrictions of the hardware. (He can’t help as the corners of his lips fall, his usual resting frown deepening — and Gordon can’t help but notice.)

“...maybe you  _ can’t _ be a part of my world. Maybe for now, maybe forever...” A thumb rubs lightly against the pale cheek, and the two sets of eyes meet. “But... I can be part of yours.”

Lips connect, ever so gently, and when they break apart the faintest of reds colors Benrey’s cheeks. He seems starstruck, almost, for a moment...

“damn bro. that was kinda cringe. you have feelings? this uh, this one — this sappy shit, it’s going in my cringe comp, gordon feetman.”

God. Of course. Gordon bursts into laughter, wiping at his own face as best as he could beneath his headset. Making this whole thing work under these circumstances... it was going to be hard as hell. But if Benrey was gonna be there with him to keep him laughing...

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.


End file.
